Can You Still Feel the Butterflies?
by Brinley
Summary: Pacey/Joey action. The story has been refigured and it reads better so PLEASE read and let me know what you think. Thanks.
1. Default Chapter

**Can You Still Feel the Butterflies?**

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Pacey sat back on his sofa completely astonished, as he hung up the phone. Joey Potter was coming to Huntington Beach—Pacey's current home. Unbelievable. Yes, it was something he had dreamed about and hoped for, but never imagined within the realm of possibilities. To be honest, he couldn't really picture Joey living actually in California, but…who knows? 

A smile touched his lips as he enjoyed the idea of seeing Miss Joey Potter. Her wit alone sparked a longing to see her again, something he hadn't enjoyed in quite some time. Her eyes, her hair—he could remember it all, although two years had passed since they had last seen each other. He recalled his Capeside days with affection and regretted the day he left for California without her. She had gone to study in New York, but they had left their separate ways on good terms. He had been happy for her to go on her own and fulfill her dreams. But, after Joey left Capeside, he had wanted out. There was no way was he going to stay there by himself. Huntington Beach had seemed perfect for him. It was far from home, and besides, he had always loved the water, and surfing seemed like a great distraction for him, which he has since learned to love. He met some random guys to room with, who have become his best friends, and pretty much spent all of his time surfing or working. 

Quickly shaking off these distracting thoughts, he jumped off the couch and ran into his room, looking for something decent to wear. Joey had just called to let him know her plane was coming in from Denver to John Wayne Airport in an hour, which meant Pacey had to leave fairly soon. He couldn't stand to wait very long to see her, so he figured waiting at the airport was as good as anywhere else. He rummaged through his closet and found a random t-shirt and some jeans to wear. He knew how excited he was to see her, but he didn't want to appear too eager in front of her, so he decided the casual look was better suited for him; although there wasn't a whole lot of difference between casual and formal when it came to Pacey's wardrobe.

He grabbed the keys to his Jeep and passed Tyler, who happened to be carrying a box of Papa John's Pizza, on his way out of the apartment. 

"What's up, Pace?"

"I'm on my way to pick up an old friend at the airport. What's going on?"

"Not much, dude. Who's at the airport?"

"She's an old friend from Massachusetts."

"She? Nice. You want some pizza before you head out? It's good, dude."

"Yeah, I better help you eat that."

Pacey followed Tyler into the apartment and grabbed a couple slices of pizza.

"So, how long is your friend visiting?"

"I don't know. She just called me up out of the blue, said she was flying into town and needed a ride from the airport. Hopefully she's coming to stay…but I doubt it."

"She didn't tell you why she's coming?"

"No idea. But if she doesn't have a place to stay, she's going to stay with us. Is that cool with you?"

"Is she cute?"

"She's hot. You don't even know."

"She can stay with me."

"Not quite, buddy. She's not like the girls you hook up with."

"Seriously, Pace, are you gonna hook up with this girl?"

Pacey laughed heartily at his friend's attempt to be serious. "Give it up, Tyler." 

"What's her name again?"

"Joey Potter."

Tyler smiled knowingly at Pacey. "I knew it, dude. How long have you talked about that girl? Since I met you, at least. What about Anna? Don't worry, I'll help you out with her."

"I don't even know about Anna. I'll worry about her later. See ya." Pacey finished off his last piece and headed for the door. Tyler sat silently smirking at the thought of Pacey finally hooking it up with this Joey girl.

With the top of his Jeep taken off, Pacey felt like he was flying on the road, as the wind enveloped him. He was closing in on the airport and the excitement continued to build as he prepared himself to see her again. He pulled into a short-term parking spot and jumped out of his Jeep. He walked briskly into the airport and searched the monitors for Joey's flight from Denver. He sat contentedly in one of those uncomfortable airport seats across from a big, hairy man talking on a cell phone. Pacey waited patiently at the gate for Joey to arrive, still basking in the glow of her trip to see him. He honestly didn't even know if she was coming to see him or what she was doing. But he didn't really care either way. He was just happy she was coming at all.

The arrival of flight 5887 arrived and Pacey practically jumped from his seat and walked to the gate exit, intently watching for the first signs of Joey Potter. His hands fidgeted nervously as he held her flight information in his hands. He noticed his hands trembling, but couldn't get them to stop. He waited impatiently as every girl with brown hair that walked through the gate seemed to have Joey's face. He felt like a five-year-old waiting impatiently for a long-awaited piece of candy. 

On his first glimpse of her, he couldn't help but be taken aback at how amazing she looked. He had almost forgotten how beautiful she was in person. She had grown her hair long and left it straight, with slight highlights through her soft, brown hair. Pacey drank in the view of Joey wearing a knee length suede skirt, showing those toned calves, with a fitting white t-shirt, as she searched for him in the never-ending crowd. He could see a golden tint on her skin that complemented her perfectly. He shook his head in disbelief. She was actually here.

Joey anxiously searched for Pacey's face. She was still reeling from her impulsive decision to come It was so unlike her, and she loved every second of it. She knew Pacey would appreciate her impulsiveness and she couldn't wait to see him again. A familiar face out of the corner of her right eye caught her attention and her eyes skimmed that general area of the airport. At first glance, she didn't even recognize who had caught her eye. She had to take a second look to realize it was Pacey. She beamed as she saw him approaching. 

Pacey ran up to Joey and picked her off her feet with a giant hug. Joey was a little surprised at such a warm welcome, but she easily returned his strong embrace. Quite unwillingly, Pacey set her down. Her grin lit his heart and he laughed at what a random meeting between old friends was taking place. 

"Pacey, thanks for picking me up. You look hot, Pace. I hardly even recognized you with your muscles and dark tan."

"You look amazing, Jo. I can't believe you're even here."

"Yeah, well, I always was the rash and impulsive one, so it shouldn't be too surprising." Joey laughed conscientiously. She believed Pacey must be waiting for her to clarify her being there, but for some reason, she didn't really feel like explaining.

"If there is one thing I remember about you, it was definitely the rash side." Pacey smiled, sensing her sudden uneasiness.

"How are you? What have you been doing all this time?"

"Geez, when's the last time I even talked to you? A year ago? Since then, all I've done is surf. I tried to go back to school, but it was getting in the way of everything else, pretty much. Typical Pacey Witter. Now, the real and more interesting question is, what have you been doing?"

"Let's get out of here. Do you want to get a drink or something? Wait, no, can you take me to the beach? That would be perfect."

"Yeah, let's go. Is this your only bag?"

"No, I checked two more."

They headed for baggage claim and found Joey's bags instantly. He quickly picked up her bags and showed her the way to his Jeep. The entire time, Joey tried to sound easy comfortable by making small talk with Pacey, avoiding any questions or references to her past or her future. She didn't know what possessed her to be so evasive. The airport just didn't seem like the greatest place to have a stirring conversation with Pacey.He packed her things inside the back seat of his Jeep and took off on 73 North, back to Huntington Beach. 

For the first time ever, he was pissed at himself for buying a Jeep. He kept trying to make conversation with her, but with the fierce wind at their ears, it was impossible to carry a conversation. Pacey couldn't help but at glance at Joey every so often. His shock wouldn't subside as he looked at her. She sat quietly, watching the scenery, never looking away from or towards Pacey. Honestly, Pacey didn't know what to think of her, and yet he didn't really care why she came or what was up. Her mere presence was enough to secure his happiness. 

Pacey yelled over the ringing of the wind, "Do you want to go to my apartment first, or straight to the beach?"

"To the beach," Joey replied without hesitation. She felt like seeing the ocean instantly, being alone with Pacey, and letting go of everything, to be here. Her heart ached slightly as she realized what she had given up on a whim. Questions filled her mind, but she waved off any feelings of regret and turned Pacey's stereo up. She wanted her thoughts drowned out with music.

After driving awhile, they finally reached the beach. It was pretty much empty, except a few random people here and there. Joey quickly jumped out of the Jeep and ran for the beach. She ripped off her shoes and headed straight for the waves of crashing water. Pacey laughed at her enthusiasm. He slowly climbed out of the Jeep and watched her run for a minute before he chased after her. His feelings of being near her were indescribable. 

He eagerly chased Joey and found her up to her mid-calves in water. She glanced at him and laughed out loud. "I guess I got a little excited. This is amazing here, Pace. I wish I had known how beautiful it was. I would've come here sooner."

"Was New York so bad?"

"This is perfect. The sun setting, the water crashing at our feet; it's captivating."

"When did you get so sentimental, Potter?"

"Ha, ha. Seriously, my entire situation: flying across the country to a place I've never even been, finding myself at the ocean, with you…it's so…not me."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah."

"Wow, Joe, that's the last thing I thought I'd hear you say. I mean, it's good to have you here and everything, but New York is where your dreams and your future have always been…what happened?"

"Nothing particularly important or worth talking about."

Pacey stood silently as Joey walked away from him, farther down the shore. He wanted to hear more, and was afraid of speaking in case she was about to explain. 

"You coming, Pace?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." Pacey leisurely strolled over to Joey, who had found a spot to sit in the warm sand. 

"I should probably explain my being here, but frankly, its not a very interesting story. I simply got tired. I spent every waking minute studying, cramming...I sat idly by as my roommates went out every night and played. But it was my fault. I was never willing to give up my studies to go out. I was so afraid my grades would drop and I would lose my scholarship, that I cooped myself in my dorm room and studied my brains out…so, yeah I got good grades, but what else did I have to show for it. Nothing. I had no stories, no memories." Joey paused and glanced at Pacey. She shook her head and smiled at the look on his face. "I know. Poor little college girl. I get college paid for and I don't even appreciate it."

"Trust me, I am the last person to judge you--for many, many reasons—so, don't worry about me."

"I know. It's me that's being judgmental. Sometimes I wonder why I left, and sometimes I wonder why I didn't leave sooner—and I just got here."

"I hope you don't regret leaving. Although I'm biased here, coming here was the best decision you've made." He smiled trying to get a smile out of Joey, but with little luck. "I think if leaving New York and coming here is what is right for you, then that's it. It's right and you're here. But, why here of all places?"

"I didn't want to quit school and stay in New York. It was too confining. I know it too well, and it's so close to Capeside and everything that I want to forget. For awhile anyway."

"Aren't I part of forgetting yourself? I'm a part of that past you want to overlook."

"You? Hardly, Pace. You're the only one who saw beyond Capeside-Joey. You're the one person in my life that challenged me to reach beyond my state of comfort and security. I came here to live the life you have. You come and go as you please, not accountable for anyone or anything. You live your life without regrets…and I desperately need that freedom."

"You see a lot more to my life than there really is."

"I hope not."

They sat there for quite a time, with that space between them, looking up at the moon-drenched sky, hearing the faintest whisper as the water touched the shore. The longer they sat there, the bigger the sky seemed. Joey let her mind wander to Pacey. After a long while she stole another sidewise look at Pacey. His eyes were closed, and when she thought that he wasn't looking up into that expanding sky, too, she suddenly felt alone. But when he opened his eyes and again was looking up into the sky, an understanding came to her. She appreciated Pacey--his ability to accept her and listen without judgment—he was a true friend. She watched him stare at the sky and was content with her life for a time. 


	2. Can You Still Feel the Butterflies?

"Pacey, Anna called--about ten times."

"Thanks." Pacey replied, with an undeniably irritated tone of voice... 

Joey raised her eyebrows at the opening scene of Pacey's life. "Nice," was her only comment, trying to sound as sincere as possible when she found Pacey's roommate sprawled out on the sofa with a bag of Doritos resting peacefully on his stomach. He seemed like a good-looking enough guy to Joey, but she could see a serious lack of sociability in his countenance.

"Justin, this is Joey."

Justin glanced away from the TV long enough to grunt something completely inaudible.

Joey laughed softly as she realized this is exactly what she had in mind when she pictured Pacey's living arrangements: a slob of a roommate, who seemed to care about food and clothing as little as Pacey. However, the apartment was nicer than she expected. The living room was bright, and spacious enough to hold two worn-out sofas and a recliner. It lacked any sort of womanly touch, but she would've been nervous had there been any girly decorations. Pacey lead Joey down the narrow hallway, where she found a semi-large room with a messy double bed and a tall dresser hidden behind piles of clothing. 

"I've never been one for cleaning."

"Oh, don't say that. This is everything I thought it would be…and yet so much more." Her sarcasm was immediately felt and appreciated by Pacey, who returned with, "I did it all for you." He smiled mischievously as he picked up random clothes and threw them in the corner of his small room. 

"Now, where exactly would I be sleeping? In between that pile of garbage and this pile of clothes? Because that's the only clear space I can see. How about you…any space over there?"

"Unfortunately, no. I guess it's just you and me in the bed. Funny how things work out."

"Hmm. That is funny."

Joey eyed Pacey. "And yet, not possible."

"No, really, it'll be fine."

"Pacey, I know I was easy in the past, but honestly, you don't expect me to put out the first night, do you?"

"Sure I do. You always have before."

"Banter aside, maybe I should get another place to stay. You're place seems pretty full already. With Justin on the couch and you here and…"

Pacey walked over to Joey, who was standing helplessly in the middle of his pitiful, cluttered room. "I promise I'll clean this up. You get the bed, and I'll kick Justin off the couch and sleep there. I sleep out there half the time anyway, so it's no big deal."

He picked up her bags and set them in the corner of his room, on top of his clothes. "Let's grab something to eat and we'll clean this up later."

"We? Probably not." Joey smiled playfully as Pacey grabbed her hand and towed her out of the room. They passed Justin on their way out, and Pacey hastily stopped before opening the door.

"How's it going, Justin?"

"Same old."

"We're going to get something to eat; you need anything?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks." Joey witnessed Justin's first signs of humanity. It seemed almost a miracle that he could be cordial, considering his first impression made him seem pretty cold. 

She followed Pacey to the Jeep and sat comfortably next to him. As he started the car, she promptly reached out and softly placed her hand over his. "Thank you for letting me come and stay with you. I know I am probably putting you out, but…being here with you. This is just what I needed and I feel better about my decision every minute I spend with you."

"Jo, don't worry about a thing. You're not putting anybody out. Just as long as you put out—that is the key."

She punched him on the shoulder and couldn't stop herself from laughing. "Can you stop with the sexual innuendos, please? You're making me sick."

Pacey winked at her and started the Jeep. Again, it was impossible to talk as they drove, but they were both contented on simply being together again. She could feel his eyes on her as he drove, so she purposefully averted her eyes. He pulled over at Jack's Only Seafood Restaurant, a local place Pacey and the boys loved at eat at.

"How does seafood sound?" He asked hopefully.

"Sounds good."

Again, Pacey reached for her hand and lead Joey into the restaurant. It was almost instinct for him to hold Joey's hand, and he colored slightly when he realized what he was doing. It had been years since he had done that, and for him to do it now seemed a little awkward. Pacey glanced at her face to see if she showed any signs of discomfort, but she simply watched her surroundings. Internally, he warned himself not to reach for her hand again. 

The place seemed like a hole to Joey, but she didn't want to say anything. There was an overbearingly dank and musty smell that caught her lungs off guard as she entered the restaurant. The lighting was so dim, that as the hostess escorted them to their table, she knocked her knee against a couple of tables unknowingly. The eagerness in Pacey's eyes forced Joey to hold her tongue. They were seated in a damp, little corner of the restaurant at a booth. She gazed eagerly at the menu and asked Pacey for his recommendations. Finally deciding on Cajun shrimp and halibut, they eased into a comfortable conversation. 

"What's up with your roommate, Justin? Is he always so friendly?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry about him. He's got an excuse, though. His girl just hooked up with a one of our old surfing buddies, so he's pretty pissed right now."

"How sad."

"Yeah, he's a good guy. Usually, he's a lot friendlier. Hopefully he'll get over that soon. So, what did you think of the apartment?"

"Honestly? It's a lot better than I expected. You made it seem like you lived in the ghetto, but I didn't think it was that bad…didn't Justin mention an Anna? Is that his girlfriend?"

"Not quite…Anna is…she's just this random girl I hang out with sometimes."

"Come on, Pacey. Cough it up. Is she your girlfriend?" Joey replied coaxingly.

"Not really, we're just friends."

"Sounds suspicious. So, tell me about her. How long have you been 'hanging out'?"

"There's not much to tell."

"Whatever. You can tell me, Pace." Pacey laughed at her sudden seriousness. 

"It's not a big deal, really." 

The food was brought to them, allowing an immediate change of subject. Joey tried to bring up Anna several more times, but Pacey was unyielding. They did, however, get a chance to talk about Joey's future plans, Dawson, and even Joey's past relationships since living in New York. Pacey was secretly grateful there wasn't much to tell. She hadn't dated anyone seriously in the two years since she left Capeside, due to her obsession with studying. 

"So, what you're telling me is that no one has been able to satisfy you, since we broke up." He smiled to himself, as if he had achieved some lifetime goal. 

"Oh, Pace, if only it was that simple. Really, it was that everyone could satisfy me so much more. I never knew how things could really be until I went to New York."

"Jo, you know that's not true. But, I'm willing to play along if you are…I'm not afraid to prove myself, over and over again, if need be."

"I'm going to have to pass on your tempting little offer there."

"We'll see about that. You ready?"

Joey nodded in agreement and they got up to leave the restaurant when someone tapped Pacey's shoulder. Pacey quickly turned around to greet his other roommate. 

"What's up, Pace? Who's this?" 

He flashed Joey a bright smile and she was instantly taken in with whoever Pacey's friend was. He was well built, with clear eyes and dark hair. 

"Tyler, this is Joey Potter."

"Joey, it's good to finally meet you after all this time. All Pacey has done is talk, talk, talk about you and your beautiful face. Hey, we should all go out and get to know each other better. What do you say?"

Pacey interjected curtly, before Joey could respond. "Tyler, I'm just going to show her around and then we'll probably head home."

"Home? Let's go play tonight. Show this girl the town, Witter. She's too hot, I mean beautiful, to just leave at home. Oh sorry, everyone, this is Gina, Gina this is Pacey and the legendary Joey Potter." Tyler had finally acknowledged his date's presence, which happened to be a very pretty girl, although she looked about sixteen years old. Joey slightly colored at his reference to her beauty in front of his date. She couldn't decide if he was being sincere or arrogant. 

Pacey watched Joey and Tyler interact, and became noticeably irritated as Tyler continued hitting on Joey. Pacey rapidly changed the subject and said affirmatively, "We'll see you later."

Joey took Pacey's hint, and without any objection, said goodbye to Tyler with great kindness, and walked out of the restaurant. Pacey followed directly behind her and she slowed to allow him to catch up with her. She scanned his face for an explanation of his suddenly rigid disposition. However, Pacey gave no allusions as to his real feelings, while he continued to avoid eye contact, driving away in silence.


	3. Can You Still Feel the Butterflies?

Pacey murmured something about not feeling so good when they hopped in the Jeep and Joey cautiously questioned him

"What's wrong, Pace? Did something happen back there?"

"No, I just unexpectedly feel sick. Do you mind if we cut sightseeing short?"

"No, no problem. I just hope you're okay."

Silence ensued after Pacey's request, but Joey felt it became deafening on the way to his apartment. Joey felt anxious and she wasn't sure why. Pacey graciously helped Joey out of the car, but his facial expression seemed to denote something other than pleasure. They walked into the apartment and finished the rest of the night in silence as Joey helped Pacey clean his room. It was early, but Pacey persisted in going to sleep due to his sudden illness. As she changed into her pajamas, she could hear Pacey and Tyler mumbling energetically in the bathroom. Pacey's voice sounded strained and unnaturally loud. She could barely make out what they were saying as she approached the bathroom.

"—yeah, like the last girl? I'm serious, Burton, you do that again—

"Okay, okay. You can settle yourself there, Witter. You're freakin' out over stupid crap. I'm just tryin' to make friends and play nice, so--

"So, keep your nasty a-- 

Joey cleared her throat loudly as she entered the bathroom, in order to stop the argument abruptly. Pacey brushed past her, avoiding eye contact, while Tyler finished brushing his teeth as she began. 

"Well, at least there's not any tension in the room."

"Oh, don't worry about that. Just a slight dispute among friends. So, Joey, what do you think of California?

"So far, it's good. How about you? Are you from here?"

"Born and raised in San Diego, but all my buddies live out here, so I figured why not. Then I met Witter, and what can I say? It was love at first sight…so, you going to be staying with us for awhile?"

"As long as you guys let me stay, I will. Honestly, though, I really don't want to burden anyone with my presence, so as soon as you get sick of me, let me know."

"I don't think it's possible to get sick of a girl like you. I think you're going to love me, oh, oops, I meant, Huntington." Again, Tyler flashed his bright smile, and while it simultaneously attracted her, she felt a teasing that came with it. Was this his way of being charming?

"Oops, slip of the tongue I guess. However, I assure it's quite possible to get sick of me. Pacey's already proven that and I just got here. That takes some skill."

"Pacey doesn't know much about girls and how to treat them, trust me. I've seen him and it's pretty ugly. Me, on the other hand…"

She laughed at his attempt to make her understand how Pacey treats girls. She didn't mention anything about their past relationship in hopes that he would explain himself. "What do you mean? Pacey _seems_ nice enough to girls, at least when I knew him."

"You haven't seen him lately. It's like the guy's never had a girlfriend before, the way he acts…but what do I know? I still love the guy."

"So, you and Pace have become pretty good friends?"

"Witter's hilarious. We always have a good time when he's around," Tyler looked at her questioningly, "Hey, did you know about his girl, Anna?" 

He certainly was intent on establishing the fact that Pacey had a girlfriend. "Yeah, what do you think of her?"

"She's a cool girl. She's hot too, I'm not afraid to say it, but she doesn't really seem like Pacey's type."

"Why not?"

"Because she's hot. In fact, neither do you. You are much more my type."

Joey's eyebrows rose at the sign of his enormous ego peeking through. "Hmm...Interesting. Is that because—oh, wait. Never mind. Your modesty is answer enough for me."

"Because I know how to treat girls…"

"Well then…"

"You think I'm a pretty arrogant, don't you?"

"One might agree with that, but not me…no..." 

Tyler caught the sarcasm in her voice and sincerely replied with, "Sorry. I know I come off like a jerk. I let my mouth run and it gets me into trouble with pretty girls—it happens to the best of us." 

Joey smiled genuinely at him. She liked his boyish overconfidence, in a younger brother sort of way. "I guess so. Um, isn't your girlfriend waiting for you?" Joey purposefully brought up his date to bring him back to reality.

"Gina? She's not my girlfriend."

"What is it with denial and relationships with you people?" She caught Tyler off guard with her sudden seriousness.

"No, I'm being completely honest. She's a cool girl and everything, but it's not serious."

Joey blushed as she realized her sudden outburst might appear out of place. She tried to make up for it by lightheartedly commenting, "Have fun tonight, Tyler."

Tyler yelled goodnight to her as she left the bathroom and walked into Pacey's bedroom. The room was dark, and she was again grateful the room was clean so that she could move without fear. The moonlight peeked through the curtains allowing her to see Pacey's shadow huddled on the floor, next to the bed. Quietly she called to Pacey.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come up here, in the bed, I mean."

Pacey hesitated for a moment before he stood and found Joey's shadow sitting comfortably on the bed.

"What's up, Jo?"

"You sleeping on the floor tonight?

"The couch is currently being occupied and I'm not willing to sleep on it after Tyler and Gina get done."

"I don't blame you. You want to share the bed? But, no 'accidental touching or feeling'." 

"You sure?"

"Yeah. It's your bed, I think I can share it."

"Sounds good. G'night."

"Wait. I was hoping you felt good enough to have a little chat with me?"

"Yeah…sure."

"Do you remember how much we used to fight, Pace? I think we fought more than we got along, for as long as we've known each other…but, what I've always appreciated about us, is that we weren't afraid to say exactly how we felt. Things came out that maybe we might not have told other people, but we weren't afraid to tell each other…I would really like that to remain the same with us—even now. Not just in a relationship, or as Dawson's friends, but because we are friends."

"Your subtlety needs some work, but I get it."

"Please tell me, Pace."

"I don't know. To be honest…I love having you here. I do. But my roommates and you…not something I was prepared for. Don't ask me why. The past and the present colliding in ways I never imagined…I don't know what I expected to happen when you got here, but the thought of you hooking up with one of these guys, especially when I see them everyday with different girls… it's beyond anything I could've imagined." Pacey eyed Joey, but could only make out the shadow of her face. He laughed slightly. "Now it's my turn to look stupid." 

Silence settled as Joey slowly rested her head on the wall, taking in everything Pacey said. Pacey shifted uncomfortably under the pressure of speaking.

"Pace, I should've never come here so unexpectedly. It was selfish of me to drop in on your life and expect you to make room. I'm sorry. I'm just want to take this one-day-at-a-time…" After another long pause, Joey's heart sank in her chest as she put a horrible realization into words."What am I doing _here_, Pace?" She laughed, sickened by herself. "This is what I get for being irrational and impulsive…a big mistake.I just got up and left New York, without thought to anyone or anything. I've been trying to avoid these feelings of total dread building up, but--" She looked at him pleadingly, even though her face was too covered by darkness to see. "I've screwed up my future, haven't I? With no one to place blame on but myself, I'm completely screwed…" Joey's eyes filled with tears, but she held back.

Pacey reached his arm around Joey and pulled her close to him. She rested her face on his shoulder, still holding back her tears, not wanting to cry. "Jo…you…you haven't screwed up your future. You made an important decision about your life, but you haven't forever altered the universe. Just get whatever it is you need out of coming here, and then go from there. If going to back to school is next, then go back and finish…" Pacey turned to look in Joey's eyes, which he could barely make out, but he focused on her intensely and spoke his next words carefully. "It's important for you to understand that…I want you here. I love you here, er, I mean, I love having you here. So, don't let _that_ have an effect on any upcoming decisions. Having you here is—just what I needed."

Joey wiped her eyes, and rested her head again on Pacey's shoulder. She couldn't bring herself to speak; she was still too close to an emotional breakdown. 

"Don't worry, Jo. Please just stay…I don't want you to leave."

"What have I done?"

Pacey continued to sit in silence, trying to hold her close and calm her down. He could feel her body slightly converse as she cried silent tears. It broke his heart to see her so distraught. He tried to think of something comforting, but all he could come up with was, "It'll be okay, Jo. I promise." Joey's body stopped shaking, and she reached up and wiped away her unseen tears.

"I missed you, Pace."

"Yeah? Me, too."

After a beat, Joey asked, "Can you believe this?"

"What?"

"That we're here—together—in California, bonding, after years of separation. This is the last place in the world I thought I'd find myself: dropping out of college, living with Pacey Witter, the professional surfer." She laughed in spite of her grief, "This is scary."

"After everything that's happened, I think it's just where we should be. A place we never expected, with people we never anticipated being with."

Joey closed her drooping eyelids and nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess you're right." She leaned more heavily on his shoulder, and Pacey could tell she was drifting off to sleep. He realized today was an emotionally draining day for Joey, but he decided to let her sleep on his shoulder for a while longer, enjoying her closeness as long as he could. He was almost afraid to let her go. 

Joey sat up, the haze of sleepiness leaving her slowly. With her eyes barely open, she studied the room for the alarm clock, forgetting where it was. 10:30 AM. _Great_.Gradually pulling the sticky sheets off her body, Joey stood and walked to the kitchen, stopping only once to stretch in the hallway. Upon entering the kitchen, she found it empty. She glanced at the living room to see all three boys eating cereal and watching TV. 

"Have you guys ever considered investing in an air conditioner or something that keeps you from sweating all night?"

Realizing that she just admitted how sweaty she was, Joey was about to take back her last comment, when she heard all three boys start laughing. 

"You, sweat, Jo? I didn't know girls sweat…that's pretty sick. I mean, I know they do _sometimes_, like when they're—

Justin cut in, "I don't wanna know, Tyler."

Joey walked casually through the kitchen and picked up a box of Fruity Pebbles. "Funny. Laugh it up, boys. But, let me tell you now, if you didn't know _that_ about girls, you're lives will definitely be enlightened with the things I've got for show-and-tell."

Tyler hastily rejoined. "No thanks, Jo. I know all I want to know and more, so you can keep whatever's left of the feminine mystique to yourself." 

Joey chimed in, "First, you take the applicator out of its wrap---

Pacey interrupted before Joey could finish her instructions, "You've become seriously sick in your old age."

Joey laughed merrily, plopping down on the couch next to Pacey. 

"I've lived with three guys for weeks, what'd you expect? Um…what're we watching?"

"They're reattaching that guy's hand to his arm. It's really quite interesting they're able to do it, considering it was ripped off when his car flipped about three—

Joey reached over Pacey, stealing the remote from his hand. "Stop! Uh, it's a little too early and a little too breakfast to be watching reconstructive surgery."

As Joey flipped mindlessly through the channels, Justin piped up, out of the blue, with "I'm moving out." Joey froze, her hand in mid-air, eyes widened, and starred blankly at Justin.

Pacey was the first to comprehend what Justin was saying. "What?"

Tyler was in a little more denial than anyone else. "Yeah, right, dude. You're not leaving." 

Sarcastically, Justin replied, "As sad as everyone is. I'm moving out."

It was Joey's turn, "But…why?"

"I just thought I'd let you guys know before I moved out—tonight."

"I-I don't understand."

"Tonight? What the hell! When did you decide this?" Tyler's anger was mounting incredibly fast. He and Justin had known each other the longest, and the hurt of not knowing sooner was escalating into anger. 

"My friend Gardner is comin' over to help move stuff after I get home from work, so…" With that, he got up and left the room, leaving the rest of them speechless. Joey looked around apprehensively, trying to scope out if anyone else was totally wigged, and her fear was confirmed with one look at Pacey. She held her tongue, not wanting to be the first to react. 

Tyler jumped up, his brow furrowed; his face was beet red, and headed back to Justin's room. 

"Wow. That's unexpected."

Pacey glanced at Joey, completely baffled, before getting up and following Tyler out of the room. 

"Well, this seems like a Taster's Choice moment between the male roommates, I guess, so I'll just sit here and…talk to myself…um, not good."

"It's not a big deal, Ty. Just taste it."

"No thanks, Martha."

"I'm serious. It's good. See—Pacey's eating it, and he likes it…right, Pace?"

"Uh, yeah."

Tyler tried to control his laughter. "Good thing that wasn't a forced answer, Witter."

"Forget it."

Joey rolled her eyes in resentment before walking away from Tyler to the other side of the kitchen table, carrying the bowl of stir-fry with her, and sat willingly next to Pacey. Tyler had just arrived home from work to find Joey in the kitchen cooking and Pacey as the guinea pig. The late evening air was drifting into the apartment, cooling it down. Justin's announcement this morning still seemed to be hanging over their heads, but no one was willing to talk about it. 

After a few minutes of silence, Joey cautiously brought up Justin, "So, are you guys helping Justin move out tonight?'

Tyler's face turned to stone and he made no response. Pacey continued eating and paused long enough to spit out, "I guess."

"Um…I know this isn't exactly a favorite topic of ours, but shouldn't we talk about it—with Justin I mean. Are we just going to let him walk out of here and that's it."

"Yeah, that's it," Tyler muttered.

Pausing for a moment, Joey watched Pacey silently. He turned to her and asked, irritated, "What?"

She looked back towards Tyler and quietly commented, "I just don't understand you two. You're both acting as if you don't even care. Justin's your friend. Do you even know why he's moving out? Because no one is willing to talk about it, so I don't even know. I mean, I know he's made his final decision and everything, but you're not willing to try and fix things before he goes?"

Tyler responded curtly, "Jo, you haven't been here long enough to understand, so don't try."

Joey was ready to give it to Tyler, but thought better of it. She never did get a chance to respond. Their conversation was interrupted with a slam of the front door. Their heads turned in unison to find Justin walking into the kitchen with a tall, bulky guy at his side.The negative energy that followed him into the room was visible on everyone's faces.

Pacey's mood lightening enough to offer whole-heartedly, "You need help, buddy?"

"Yeah."

Pacey followed Justin and his friend out of the kitchen, leaving Tyler and Joey in the kitchen alone. Tyler hesitated only a moment before he begrudgingly left his seat, and walked back to Justin's room. Joey quickly followed suit pausing, food in hand, only for a second before she headed back. 

Stacks of boxes and clothes and random things in piles all over the floor—this is what Joey found in Justin's room. She was unsettled as she watched Justin's friends pick up his things and carry them out of the room. It made the situation so much more permanent and real.It wasn't that her and Justin were so close—they really only spoke to each other when Tyler and Pacey were around—but, she knew how much they cared about Justin as their friend, and she was sad to see it come to an end.

Joey picked up a box and followed Tyler outside the room, outside the apartment, to a truck full of boxes. Nothing was said. Everyone just walked in and out of the apartment without speaking, no one willing to give in to the moment. 

Looking for a few smaller boxes to carry in one run, Joey found herself alone in the bedroom with Justin. She wanted to express something before he left—before she never saw him again.

"Hey, Justin? I…I just want to say that…I honestly have no idea what's going on or why you're leaving, but for what it's worth, where ever you're going…I hope you find what you're looking for. I really do."

Justin was caught off guard, but only for a second. He let a small smile pass his lips before he said, "For what it's worth, Jo, I hope you do, too." With that, he walked out the room and out of the apartment.


	4. Can You Still Feel the Butterflies?

Joey soaked in the rays of the sweltering sun, hoping her skin was turning more brown than red.She lay still, on her giant blue beach towel in the warm sand. Pacey was asleep on the towel next to her, his snoring growing louder by the minute. She poked him in the shoulder, as the people walking past started pointing and laughing.

"Pace? You're attracting attention…you might want to wake up."

Pacey sat up and rubbed his eyes. He answered groggily, "How long did I sleep?"

"Long enough to cause a scene."

"I'm dead. Is Tyler back yet?"

"No, he's off making some new friends with those strippers—over there." Joey sat up and lazily rested on her elbows, pointing down the beach towards where Tyler was standing, talking to a couple of girls in little bikinis. 

Pacey watched Tyler flirt. "It'll take him all day to actually get one of those girls to go out with him."

Joey curiously asked, "Why don't you join him? I'm sure he would gladly share the wealth."

Pacey laughed in response. "Right. Those girls? They're cute, but I know the kind of girls Tyler meets, and I'm not interested."

With mock confusion, Joey said, "The slutty kind? I thought those were your favorite."

Pacey quickly came back with, "I did date you, Jo, so you're right on that account."

"Stop. You're making me blush." After a beat, "It's so nice to be out here, in the fresh air, out of our stuffy little apartment. Especially after the Justin and--" She cut herself off, realizing what she was about to say.

Pacey nodded in agreement, "Yeah," but he continued to stare mindlessly in Tyler's direction. 

Joey sat up and wrapped her arms around her warm legs. "How are you holding up...I mean, after yesterday and everything?"

Pacey brushed off her concern. "Fine…yeah, I'm fine."

Joey bit her lip, unsure of what to say, but wanting to offer comfort."Hey, you know if you need to talk or anything…"

Pacey smiled appreciatively at Joey. He replied simply, "Thanks."

"…I'm here."

Joey watched him for a minute as he stared at something beyond her, but decidedly closed her eyes again and lay back down on her towel, enjoying the richness of the sun on her skin. Pacey continued to sit in silence, watching Tyler from a distance. 

Pacey broke the silence. "Tyler's a funny guy. He's definitely not afraid."

Joey remained laying still, eyes closed, but responded, "Not afraid of what?"

"To be himself. He'll say whatever and act however he wants, and never think twice about it. Those girls are probably eating it up."

Joey again rested herself on her elbows, and followed Pacey's gaze to where Tyler was standing. "Those girls? I don't know any decent girls who would fall for his lines. Besides, his ability to speak without thought can be a serious hazard. You can say a lot of stupid things without thinking, and he seems to do that a lot. It drives me crazy."

"Yeah, that's true…" Pacey's curiosity leads him to ask, "You like Tyler, though, right? I mean, you guys are friends?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. I…actually, I do like Tyler. I mean, he cracks me up, and…he's always willing to go anywhere and have a good time." 

"Always a good thing."

Joey, still concentrating on the subject at hand, offers more, "Plus, he'll sit and talk with me for hours about the stupidest stuff and—

"Really?"

"—make up juvenile songs on the guitar about you, Justin and me, in the middle of the night—

"When was this?"

"—besides always making me laugh and—

"Geez, Jo." Pacey shook his head; Joey could feel the tension in his voice, even though he purposefully tried to sound calm. He could see Tyler approaching them, alone, and quickly stood up and began walking in the opposite direction. 

"Pacey? Where are you going?"

He answered, his backed remaining turned to her and Tyler, trying to sound casual. "I'll be back in a minute."

"What's up, Jo?"

"Just watching and learning. How are Candy and Trixie? Good, I presume." Joey laid back down on her towel, closing her eyes, pretending to be uninterested in the topic altogether. 

Tyler sat on Pacey's towel, next to her, and rested is arms on his knees as he sat watching her admiringly. "Jo…am I sensing some jealousy? No, couldn't be. That's not like you at all."

"Jealousy? More like pity. It's difficult to be jealous of sixteen-year-old girls getting hit on by…well, you."

"You know you're the only teeny-bopper in my life, Jo. Completely irreplaceable."

Joey tried to stop the smile from creeping to her face, but let one slip long enough for Tyler to catch it, considering he was staring so intently at her. "You liked that? Good, let's see what else—

"I was just smiling at the fact that those girls didn't come back here with you…you haven't—heaven forbid-- lost your touch, have you?"

"Okay, let's take a walk back into a place I like to call reality, and ask that question again…if I was truly picking up on those girls, which I wasn't obviously, do you think they would be here now? Let me answer that—yes. But, the truth is…I've given that up." Joey laughed loudly, but not contemptuously. His inability to see his blatantly obvious (to her) arrogance completely fascinated her. Yet, she had gotten to know him well enough to understand that this was just a show. At home, he was just as ridiculous, without the conceit.He flashed a smile at her as she laughed, and responded as truthfully as he could appear. "It's true. Love'll do that to me."

She waited for a minute before she spoke again. "Ty, com on now lets be friends.

"One on condition—we kiss and make up."

"Seriously, Tyler, are you doing okay? After yesterday and everything…"

Tyler's smile faded as he thought about her question. He stared at her for a moment before he answered, "Yeah." He gazed thoughtfully at the ocean and spoke quietly again, "You know, it's weird with him gone and everything, and I was pretty pissed at the time. But, things change and he did what he had to do, so…"

She nodded in understanding and didn't pry any more. She knew it was a sensitive subject and she didn't want to press him. 

"It's crazy, though, how you think things are one way, and one day you wake up, and a friendship is nothing you thought it was."

"Nothing? I guess I didn't realize how serious it was."

"I didn't either, not until he left. We were only friends for four years, but we were tight, you know? He just took off. Oh well. I'm tired of thinking about it."

"Sorry I brought it up," she whispered, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Don't worry about it, Potter." He turned to her and asked wistfully, "When's the last time you got wet? I'd say not recently enough."

Pacey watched Joey and Tyler from afar. He had walked far enough down the beach to watch undetected. He kicked the sand around, annoyed at himself for having to walk away from them. All of them had been able to spend the last couple weeks together constantly, never having a hard time being with each other before today. Pacey understood that with all the drama--the way Justin left, and now Tyler and Joey's constant attention to each other (the way she was describing him and the smile on her face as she did so), it was too much.

He tried to peel his eyes away from Joey's smiling face, but couldn't. Her smile was captivating, even if Tyler was the cause. Disappointment was tugging at his heart as he watched Tyler pull Joey to her feet and pull her towards the ocean.He pulled his eyes away long enough to get annoyed at himself. He'd lost control of his feelings for Joey long enough to be forced to walk away from her…how was he going to explain that? He didn't want to deal with it. He instantly decided to walk back to Tyler and Joey and forget about whatever it was that was holding him back. 

Pacey picked up his towel and his board, trying not to watch Tyler and Joey in the water, running from each other and splashing wildly. Joey happened to stop running from Tyler long enough to notice Pacey picking up his things. 

She called to Pacey, "You leaving, Pace?"

He called back, forcing a weak smile on his face, "Yeah, I'll see you guys later."

Joey started for Pacey as he walked away from them, towards the Jeep. "Wait, Pace…we'll come with you."

Pacey kept walking, never skipping a beat, "No, you guys stay."

Confused by his suddenness, Joey replied only loud enough for herself to hear, "Uh, okay…see ya." Tyler caught her off guard as she was picked off her feet and thrown into the water. Surprised and disoriented, she couldn't find her way to the surface of the water—she didn't have to. Tyler picked her up again, and was about to throw her back into the water, when she screamed angrily, "TYLER, STOP!" Startled by her angry outburst, he set her down immediately and apologized. "Sorry, Jo."

Joey laughed unwillingly. "You scared the crap out of me."

Tyler smiled, pleased with himself. He went for her again, but she pushed her hands against his bare chest to stop him. Suddenly, she did something that caught both her and Tyler off guard. She brushed a strand of his dripping, black hair away form his eyes. It was a gentle action, one she could not explain, except that the urge hit her and she acted on it. They stood completely still, waiting for something else to happen—but nothing else happened. That would come later.

Joey spoke first, yet remained motionless. "Pacey left."

Not really caring, Tyler spoke softly, "Why?"

Joey backed away from Tyler and headed back up the beach, back to their towels. Tyler slowly followed behind her. 

Shaken by everything, Joey thoughtlessly replied, "I don't know." She picked up her blue towel and shoo the sand off it. 

"Does this mean you're ready to go, too?"

She nodded and Tyler quietly picked up his own towel and his board, and they walked silently back to her bug. 


	5. Can You Still Feel the Butterflies?

Joey found Pacey sitting on his bed, staring blindly at the floor

"Jo, folding is a waste of time. Trust me. Everything gets wrinkled and dirty anyway. Don't waste your time."

"No, Dirtiness, it's a perfectly sane and important thing to do. And, I would advise you to pick up the habit before my stuff starts smelling like you."

Pacey stared at her seriously and retorted, "I happen to have a very manly smell that women find adorable."

"Yeah, well, I'm picking up your 'manly smell' and men don't find that particularly adorable on me."

"Men, what men? Except me, and I find it—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Joey waited while Pacey finished overfilling the dryer full of clothes.When he was finished, she picked up her basket of clothes, but Pacey didn't move a muscle. He just stood there watching her, almost expectantly. 

"What? Come on, this basket is getting heavier by the minute."

Pacey continued to stand there, silently. Yet, she could see his hands fidgeting nervously, and she was reminded of the day he came to pick her up at the airport. Joey let out a small laugh and said, "Hello?" Pacey walked over to her and picked up her basket of folded clothes and placed them on a washer next to them. 

"Let's talk for a minute."

Joey's eyes widened with confusion, "You want to have a heart-to-heart in the Laundromat?"

Pacey looked around the room, and then shrugged his shoulders. "We're alone, aren't we?"

Joey replied, still confused, "Well, sure…"

His face turned a little more solemn, choosing his words carefully. He looked down at his writhing hands, and quickly dropped them to his side."Jo…"

Readily awaiting and explanation, Joey quickly inserted, "Yeah?"

"How do you feel about where we are right now?"

Joey still completely confused, replied, "Well, I like it here, if that's what you mean. Yeah, our apartment is kind of small, but it's all we can—

Pacey looked down again, this time his hands completely still. "No, I mean _us_, where we are. Our relationship."

"Oh," realization hitting Joey. "Uh…yeah. I mean, you and me—it's like the old Capeside-days between us. You know, besides the kissing and the sex and the drama…

Without looking up, Pacey sighed, "Yeah, that's true…but, are you content with…this?"

Joey easily shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah. We get along so well right now, and we're closer than we've been in a long time, so, I'm pretty content. Why? Are you not?"

Pacey looked up to meet Joey's eyes and gave her a half smile. "No." Joey's face contorted with puzzlement, and Pacey quickly explained himself. "I don't want to be just friends, Jo. I want more than that."

Joey slowly released a deep breath she had been holding in as Pacey spoke. She anxiously bit her lower lip, but kept her gaze in line with his. "Oh Pacey…are you serious about this? Because I don't know—

His smile dropped as he simply replied, "I'm serious."

She closed her eyes and nervously rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry, Pace, but I don't…I don't think I can right now." She quickly followed with, "But please don't let this come between us. Our friendship is everything, and—

Pacey slowly backed away from her. He kept on peering into her face, really looking at it for the first time, after all the years, for the close, true look at a thing can only be one snatched outside of time and questions. He spoke slowly, "It's okay, Jo. I understand." Without letting her finish, he walked out of the Laundromat, and back to the apartment. Joey followed quietly behind Pacey back to apartment, carrying her load of folded laundry. An awkward silence built a wall, not allowing a word to pass between them. Joey was about to break the silence when Pacey stopped short right in front of her. She followed his gaze to an unfamiliar car parked in front of the apartment. 

"You okay, Pace?"

Pacey stood silently only a moment longer before he turned to Joey and grabbed her basket of laundry from her. He continued walking to the apartment, his eyes never leaving the parked Jetta. 

"Thanks. Um, what's going on? Is that someone you know?"

Pacey continued to stare mindlessly at the vehicle, without giving Joey the slightest acknowledgement. Joey was a dismayed at his inability to speak at all.

They entered the apartment finding a visitor sitting on the sofa. She was a beautiful girl with long brown hair and clear blue eyes.She smiled upon their entering and whispered, "Hello," before Tyler cut into the introductions. 

"Joey, I don't believe you've met Anna. Pace, you remember Anna don't you?"

Joey smiled warmly at Anna, although she was amazed to see her here. Pacey had said that he and Anna had fizzled out and he hadn't talked to her in weeks.

"Pacey, it's good to see you again. Tyler was entertaining me until you got here."

"Good," Pacey murmured.

"Can we talk for a minute?"

Pacey paused for a moment, considering his options, and then said, "Yeah, okay." She followed him back to his room, leaving Joey gaping mindlessly at Tyler. After Joey was assured that Pacey's bedroom door was closed, she sat on the couch next to Tyler. 

"Okay something is not right here."

"What are you talking about? Anna looks good. If Pacey has any sense, he'll do whatever she came here for."

"Okay, but the problem is—the problem is that she just shows up out of the blue—today? Why?"

"She probably wants to bet back together."

"Oh, geez. This is not good."

"Why? And why are you freaking out over this? What's the big deal?"

Frustrated, but not want to tell Tyler about what happened in the Laundromat, Joey just sighed and sat silently.

"Jo…what's up?"

Joey shook her head, and faked a smile. "Nothing's up. It's just weird, that's all."

"Right."

Joey stood and paced in the kitchen awhile, unseen by Tyler's curious eyes. She stopped suddenly and walked into the living room, curiosity taking over, "Hey, why did Pacey and Ana stop dating anyway?"

"I don't know. But as soon as you got here, every other girl was out of the picture for Pacey. I know that."

She looked away from Tyler. She was nervous, but she couldn't explain if it was because of Anna or because of Pacey. Or both. If she really wanted nothing from Pacey but friendship, what was the big deal of Anna and Pacey getting back together?

"It'll be okay, Jo. You don't have to worry."

"Ha, ha, Ty. I'm not worried. I'm fine." She immediately stood and walked to the kitchen. "You want anything to drink?"

"No thanks."

What was taking so long? Joey had conflicting feelings of wanting to talk to Pacey, without crossing a line. He was probably still angry with her and she wanted to quickly clear things up. Yes, she thought, that is why I'm stressed. The only reason I'm stressed. But, her heart wasn't in that explanation, and she knew it. After she filled a glass full of water, she walked back into the living room, and sat restlessly next to Tyler. She tried to get into the TV show he was watching, but her mind kept drifting back to Pacey. She was going to drive herself crazy. 

Finally, Anna appeared before Tyler and Joey. "See you later," were her only words before opening the door and leaving. When the door shut, Joey waited in anticipation for Pacey to appear. She wrestled with the idea of going back to see him, or wait for him to come out. She waited only a minute longer before walking through the hall, back to his room. 

Joey found Pacey sitting on his bed, staring blindly at the floor. 

"Pace, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He listlessly watched her approach.

Sitting next to Pacey, she gave him an unconvincing smile, but he was unaware of anything she did. "So, Pace...can we talk about what happened at the Laundromat?"

"Not now, Jo."

"Please, Pacey…"

"Jo, I've got too much on my mind to talk about that."

"Okay…um, not to pry, but how'd it go with Anna?"

There was a lengthy pause before Pacey realized she had asked him a question. Pacey glanced at her with apathy, as he shook himself out of his trance, "Fine."

Joey closed her eyes in discontent. "Oh, Pacey…"

Out of the blue, Pacey decided to expound, "Apparently she wants to start dating again…she said she misses me. The girl is…"

"That girl has impeccable timing…"

"I was shocked. We were never that serious. We would hang out sometimes, but it was purely platonic. I didn't even think she was that into it."

Joey sat still, taking on every heartbreaking word and letting it sink to the bottom of her stomach. He just kept talking and talking, and she knew why he was doing it.

"And so I told her that we should start dating again, and see where it leads." Pacey laughed unconsciously. His surprise was written clearly on his face. 

Joey's heart sank. "So, you just decided like that? With our conversation not five minutes earlier."

Pacey looked into Joey's eyes, hard. "Yeah, Jo, I just decided like that. I think I got the gist of our conversation, so I didn't worry about you or how you might feel about my decision. Why you're surprised is what's amazing."

She couldn't help feeling disappointed, however self-interested that might be. She wanted to be patient, not angry with him. She didn't feel she earned the right. "Wow, Pace. That's great for you…do you think things will work out better this time?" Joey asked, apprehensively.

"I guess we'll see."

"I guess so…" Joey stood quietly in the doorway still recovering from Pacey's unwelcome news. She scolded herself for being so selfishly annoyed. "Do you want to go for a drink or a swim or something? We don't have to talk about anything, we can just--"

"No, you go."Pacey never gave Joey another look, as he quickly fell back into a state of confusion.

Joey took the too obvious hint for her to leave. She supposed Pacey needed time to think, but she really wanted to be with him for a while. She slowly backed out of the room, hoping he would stop her, but instead, walked back through the hallway and picked her keys up off the kitchen table. Before walking out the door, she mindlessly asked Tyler if he wanted to come with her.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I'm not really sure where, but I want to get out of here."

Tyler didn't hesitate, "Let's go."

He followed Joey out of the apartment to her little ghetto bug. She unlocked the door for Tyler and climbed inside the driver's seat. Tyler watched Joey as she started the car and drove out of the parking lot. 

"Jo, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Come on now, Jo. We're good enough friends that you can tell me what's going on." Tyler teased her with his bright eyes, and she begrudgingly explained herself. 

"This whole Pacey/Anna thing is weird for me. I honestly am not trying to be a brat, but I don't really think now is the time for them to start dating again."

"Geez, Jo." Tyler laughed, while considerably not amused. "Why not? I thought you and Pacey were friends. Why wouldn't you want him to be with Anna? Unless…"

"Unless nothing. I just don't think—"

"Hey, I happen to know that Pacey has been trying to get with since the day you moved here, and you have been giving him The Shaft, so your opinion on this doesn't exactly carry a lot of weight."

Joey rolled her eyes and continued to drive in silence.

"I knew I couldn't talk to you about this."

Tyler couldn't keep himself from laughing. "Right, Jo. It's me--I'm the problem. Either you want to be with Pacey or you don't. But you shouldn't stop him from dating Anna, when you already made it perfectly clear you don't want to be with him."

"When was that, Tyler? Were you listening at the door when I made this declaration? I'm sure you had nothing better to do than--"

"Joey, you might want to stop before you make a fool of yourself." Tyler smiles all 'take-it-like-a-man.' "It's obvious. The way you act around each other and how you treat him. You don't have to say it Jo, it's clear to everyone except Pacey. No eavesdropping required."

Joey glanced at him with contempt. "Thank you all-knowing wizard of Oz. I do so need you to remind me of every little thing I say or do."

"I'm going to be honest with you, Jo. I have told the guy to move on; that he's wasting his time. I don't want to see him pine away for you."

"That's fine. Wow, you're really good at this whole heart-to-heart thing. You should really try it more often. " Yet, after a beat she replied, defensively, "Besides, I really didn't want anything like that with him, so good…I'm happy with whatever he wants."

"How is it?"

"How is what?"

Tyler had a sly smile on his face as he replied. "Living your life in denial? It must be blissful to deny any real feelings you might have for another person, excluding myself, of course."

Joey glared at him, "Without exception."

Joey pulled into the parking lot of a small community park. She intentionally slammed the car door without saying a word to Tyler, and headed straight for a nearby duck pond. Tyler slowly followed her, taking his time to get out of the car and walk over to her, smiling to himself all the way. He knew he was right, and Joey knew it, too. He stood next to her, but said nothing. He enjoyed the cool breeze on his face as he watched the children playing Frisbee, from across the pond.

"You still mad at me, Jo?"

Joey eyed him solemnly, but let the anger slowly pass away. "No, just infuriated by you. I'm sorry, but you have no idea how extremely irritating it is when the things you say are reasonable. You have this Mister Miagi thing going on right now, and I really hate it."

"Thank you."

Joey laughed knowingly at herself. "Sometimes, I wonder about you. I come off like a twelve-year-old, and you sound well-versed…it scares me when you do that."

"Because it makes you want me?"

Joey's eyes drifted away from him towards the pond as she seriously contemplated her answer. Her eyes met his. "Because it makes me humble…"

Tyler, a little unnerved by how serious the conversation had become, replies nonchalantly. "I'm not trying to make you feel stupid, Jo. I just want you to see both sides of this situation. It's not really fair for Pacey to hold off on Anna on the _slightest_ chance that you _might _change your mind about him. Besides, this whole hard-to-get thing you're playing with me is translucent to everyone, including Pacey…I wasn't going to say anything, but--"

"What? Okay, let's reverse back to the serious Tyler for one moment and skip your last incoherent sentence that I am simply going to ignore. I realize I'm a retard, so that has been sufficiently established, but there is something about you which seems equally important to discuss."

"Like what?"

"Are you ready to delve into the person that is Tyler?" Joey continued to watch Tyler, trying to provoke him with her words. "Just for a random example of what I mean, there's the issue of why you only date superficial women. I mean, it only seems fair since we are analyzing my neurosis, that we should take a crack at yours."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tyler began to stroll around the pond, avoiding Joey in all regards. 

"How convenient for you."

"I'm serious."

"So am I." Joey smiled, knowing she had hit a nerve somewhere, and wanting to run with it. " What about…say…your failure to commit to any _real_ girl—I mean real as in someone whose reading level goes beyond the third-grade. I see the girls you bring over and there's a new one every night. They all look the same, with their big jugs and big hair."

"Quite the articulate description you gave there, Jo. However, I'm surprised at your analysis. I didn't realize what an interest you had taken with my sex life. If you think about it, this actually only reveals more about you than me. Your—

"You're changing the subject—

"--obsession with who I date and when I date them. Whenever you're ready to admit you're true feelings for me, I'll still be waiting…patiently."

Frustrated, Joey started to walk away, but instantly changed her mind, realizing his intent, and decided to continue. "Oh, if only I could, Tyler. Yet, your avoidance of this whole commitment issue is what I'm more interested in. So, explain away…"

"There's nothing to explain. I like pretty girls, but when they open their mouths, everything goes south. So, I don't like to be with the same chick for very long. Simple as that."

"Then you're not dating the right girls…but really, Ty, you know that's just an excuse. You like surface relationships. Then no one can really get to know you and you remain in a happy little place called self-denial. Hmm…sounds familiar. How is it?"

Tyler confronts her with the most somber face he can muster. Her grin widens as he replies with, "This topic is seriously getting tired. You think you understand a complex and sophisticated mind like mine, but you never will." Tyler began walking away from the pond, towards an old swing-set. Joey follows quietly behind. As they reach the swings, she avoids his eyes, but makes a quiet response, the grin still tugging at her mouth. "You're being a little dramatic. I'm just trying to understand you, the way you _seem_ to understand me."

"I'm just warning you now--it's impossible."

Joey sits in a low swing and gently pushes the ground with her feet, as Tyler makes his way to the swing next to her, but instead moves behind her and pushes her into the air. After some time, Joey innocently asks, "Do you think we're screwed up, Tyler? Be honest—and serious--for once."

"Me? I 'm not screwed up, you on the other hand…honestly, though, I just think we both have issues we aren't willing to face up to. Denial is what sets us apart from the rest."

Joey's hair blows furiously across her face, as Tyler pushes her higher in the air. She notices how gentle his touch is as he tenderly pushes her forward. She slows herself down somewhat with her feet, in order to talk to Tyler with more ease.

"Can you sit next to me, please?"

Tyler sits in the swing next to Joey, eyeing her curiously. She gazes at him admiringly--his gentle, caring eyes lull her into a state of gratitude. He watches her eyes, unsure of what she wants to say, but he can see something that wasn't there before. Is it…?

"What's up, Potter?"

"Thank you. That's all. Just thank you…I know I'm crazy at times and…I appreciate you listening to me and being honest…you're a good friend, Ty."

"That's beautiful, Jo."

"Hey, I'm being serious."

"Sorry." His eyes smiled at her. "Thanks. You're the type of girl that one can always enjoy a little denial with. I'm serious Jo, our talks scare me because I realize that you can see beyond my good-looking exterior. Something of which few girls are allowed to see with permission. You and me…we could go along way together. Can I tell you something? It's genuine, I promise." 

Tyler reached over and stopped Joey's swing. She could see a sudden seriousness touch his face as he stood and walked directly in front of her swing. He reached out his hand and she took it, causing a feeling of surprise to reach her face. Tyler ignored any signs of alarm, concentrating on the task at hand. They stood face to face as he flashed his always-charming smile at her, and then touched her cheek with the tips of his fingers. A small laugh escaped Joey's lips. Her breath quickened out of sheer nervousness…she wasn't sure what was going to happen, but her stomach was churning.

"Ty?"

"Yeah?"

Tyler leaned in before Joey could respond, and kissed her lightly on her lips. The softness of his lips was insatiable. She craved this kiss, while concurrently knowing she couldn't do this--for so many reasons…almost instantly she pulled herself back into reality, scolding herself for not stopping this sooner.

"Tyler…um…" Joey took a few steps backwards, tripping over the swing, and falling flat on her back. 

"Perfect," was Joey's only response to the awkwardness she could feel permeating between them. Tyler walked past the swing and helped Joey to her feet.He made no attempt to clear up their current distressing situation. He was simply waiting for her to shed some light on what just happened. She brushed the dirt off her, and looked up at him, laughing as she did so. Her laugh was cut short by the expression on his face. 

"Ty, I'm sorry." Although Tyler was only considered a friend, her heart dropped as she began to speak again."…I just don't think me and you kissing is the solution…to anything."

"I wasn't trying to solve anything."

Joey rubbed her forehead and gave Tyler a half smile. "I don't know what to say, except that…let's not make this any more complicated than it already is."

Tyler searched her eyes imploringly. She was racked with guilt as she watched him turn away from her and walk to the car. She tried to catch up with him, but his stride was too long. 

"Ty, wait up. I'm sorry. It's just that—"

"It's just nothing, Jo." 

They reached the car at the same time. She walked to the passenger's side, forcing him to look at her. He looked into her eyes calmly, his expression never changing, making it impossible for her to read his emotions. Again, she tried to smile at him, but he just stared at her blankly. 

"Ty, listen…"

"I think we've both said enough."


End file.
